Some of you may have heard of Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP. Some of you may be slightly wary or sceptical of it. Some of you may have heard it’s a way of manipulating people to do what you want them to do. NLP is simply a way of thinking about the world, a revolutionary approach to communication and personal development. Its basic principles will help you perform more effectively at work, at home and in all parts of your life. You can enhance your relationships and your emotional health, as well as making your work more rewarding.
In my experience, using NLP in the workplace, you can dramatically improve staff performance, including your own. If you are a new manager, you will be aware that people skills are the most valuable asset you can develop and that the ability to influence others to achieve the goals you've set is the greatest management talent of all. Your success will depend on supporting others, so they can do their best. If you want your team to be more successful, you may want to consider how you build rapport with others.
Are you speaking the same language as your colleagues?
One of the most fascinating aspects of NLP is discovering how to harness the power of language to develop greater rapport with others – your customers, colleagues, bosses, clients, partners, children, the back office, those lovely people in accounts etc etc.
We interact with the world and gather information from it using our five senses. We tend to use some more than others and the language people use is a clue to how they are processing information. There are three main ways in which we represent our thinking when communicating with other people, and although we all use a combination of these terms, every person will tend to have a leaning toward one in particular.
The three are Visual – I see, Auditory – I hear and Kinesthetic – I feel
So for example, if someone says "Let's see what we can do" or "Do you see what I mean?" or "Try looking at it like this", they are speaking a visual language and you can be pretty certain that they see the world through a visual filter.
If, on the other hand they say "I hear what you're saying" or "That sounds good to me" or "That rings a bell", they are using auditory language.
And, if they say "That feels right" or "I sense this is going to work out fine" or "That’s a real weight off my shoulders", then they are speaking in a kinaesthetic language.
If you hear a group of 3 people speaking in this way, they are going to find it difficult to 'see eye to eye' because they are operating different modes – visual, auditory and kinaesthetic. Or put another way it won't 'feel right' or 'sound right'.
So... next time you realise your boss is speaking to you in a visual language, then you will build better rapport if you switch to visual language too. If you are managing someone and you realise they are 'digging in their heels', you may want to 'get a handle on' what's going on for them.
By speaking the same language as our colleagues we increase the chance of building rapport and avoiding miscommunication in a very subtle way.
Comments