SueTrinder.com - Sue Trinder & Associates

Six Basic Skills of Effective Communication

Most of us, in our professional lives, focus on developing business, technical or other content based expertise.  But this knowledge is not enough to take us to the next level in our careers. Content is not enough.

We've probably all met someone at work who is technically brilliant at what they do, but is unable to communicate effectively with their manager or their colleagues.

Top business leaders invariably name so caled 'soft skills' as more important than content for achieving and succeeding in leadership roles.  These skills include being able to

• build rapport with practically anyone

• influence without bullying

• inspire co-operation and teamwork

• communicate ideas clearly and compellingly

• consider other people's emotional responses

• negotiate for win win results

These abilities have very little to do with what we say and a lot more with how we communicate.  Studies about perception show that our eyes, our ears, our fingers, skin, breathing and emotions play a huge role in interpersonal communication - often without our being aware.  I've talked in an earlier article about the behavioural model of cats and dogs. If cats have leadership, it's based on consistency.  If dogs have leadership, then it's all about personal contact.  Over the next few days I'll be talking some more about these six skills.

Adults Learn When . . .

One of the questions that has cropped up this week has been whether to promote an existing member of staff, who is known to have a positive attitude and is capable of doing the work, though has no experience, or whether to appoint someone with experience but who is an unknown quantity. 

As managers we can sometimes be in a difficult position.  We have a duty to develop our staff – and yet sometimes they do not seem to 'get' the pearls of wisdom that drop from our lips.  'Sitting next to Nellie' is not always the most cost effective way of preparing someone for their new role.  Sometimes the learning curve can appear to be particularly steep and it can sometimes be easy to forget that for some it may be a long time since they have done any formal kind of education or training.

So the challenge is how you as a manager can best train your staff in new skills.

How do you put them in the right state for learning?

Making the Group Right

One of the goals of all group dynamics is to Make the Group Right.  I was reminded of this as I was facilitating the melding together of two teams with very different characteristics during the summer.

One team (team A)was flexible, approachable, friendly - really interested in each other - it took them ages to get going in the morning as they caught up with what was going on in their lives, they work well together and were regularly putting in long hours to get their work done.

The other team (team B) was led by a woman with quite a clipped staccato voice, she knew what she wanted and when.  Her team is very dynamic, also works well together and is  absolutely focussed on productivity.  This led to some difficulties for the other team leader, who also knew what she wanted and when, but had a different way of letting it be known, which was not always understood.  Hence the long hours being put in by her team.

Team B perceived the others as not meeting deadlines and not making decisions and this was having an impact on Team B's work.  All members of this team had no qualms about telling team A - who had become somewhat bitter and twisted, as they

What Colour Are Your Mondays?

We tend to assume that others experience the world in the same way that we do and it can sometimes be a bit of a shock when we realise that their world is different.

There's some fascinating research being done at Sussex University by Jamie Wild into synaesthesia. This is the 'condition' where people experience the ordinary world in extraordinary ways. 

They can see numbers in colour, words can have tastes, sounds can have colours too, as well as days of the week. For example, the sound of a violin may be blue.  The sound is both heard and seen, but the colour doesn't replace the sound, it exists alongside it, so is considered as an extra sensation. 

And of course, if you've been born with synaesthesia, you have no idea that others don't taste bacon at the sight of a five pound note.

I can still vividly remember having my first eye test when I was about 7 years old.  No one had ever told me you were supposed to be able to read the blackboard,  I thought everyone

Freedom from Complaints

I've just come back from a three day Freedom Class in internet marketing run by Tim Brocklehurst.  Some of us celebrated on the last night by going to Jamie Oliver's Fifteen, just round the corner from the venue.  Fantastic food, brilliant customer service, beautiful and unusual light fittings!

The Freedom Class course was awesome, am on a very steep learning curve, which is just how I like it – and met some lovely inspirational people.

One of the presentations by Martin Avis was about how to communicate effectively writing articles for the internet, and how it differs from the way we have been taught to write for business ie make it more conversational and not so literary.  Also, to keep your sentences short and snappy.  Am still learning that one as you can see. 

There was an interesting article by Lucy Kellaway in the FT on Monday about complaints and how we Brits differ from Americans.  According to new research by Julian Baggini, it seems that American tend to complain to the right person and expect a result, whereas Brits just like complaining.

It got me thinking about complaints at work.  One of the problems that new managers ask us to help with, is how to

Language at Work - an important people skill

Some of you may have heard of Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP.  Some of you may be slightly wary or sceptical of it. Some of you may have heard it’s a way of manipulating people to do what you want them to do.  NLP is simply a way of thinking about the world, a revolutionary approach to communication and personal development. Its basic principles will help you perform more effectively at work, at home and in all parts of your life.  You can enhance your relationships and your emotional health, as well as making your work more rewarding. 

In my experience, using NLP in the workplace, you can dramatically improve staff performance, including your own.  If you are a new manager, you will be aware that people skills are the most valuable asset you can develop and that the ability to influence others to achieve the goals you've set is the greatest management talent of all.  Your success will depend on supporting others, so they can do their best.  If you want your team to be more successful, you may want to consider how you build rapport with others.

Are you speaking the same language as your colleagues?

What does an elephant see when it looks in the mirror?

Itself apparently – a rare cognitive feat that was previously only known in humans, dolphins and apes, according to a recent article in National Geographic.

In studies, and I'm not quite sure how they were carried out, Asian elephants, those are the ones with the smaller ears, were given mirrors, which to begin with they treated as objects.

But on further inspection it is thought that they may realise they are seeing themselves as they will repeatedly touch a mark painted on their heads which they wouldn't be able to see if it were not for the mirror.

On a smaller scale an 8 week old cichlid fish with a brain the size of a pea may adopt female colours to sneak food from another male's territory. Isn't this fascinating to know that social relationships can alter a fish's brain cells?